The crib in vermont
Jeff's sister offered to give us the crib her son Micah used as a baby.He is currently a sophmore at Wesleyan University. When we arrived at their house to pick up Jeff's mom , the crib was set up in their front lawn, a beautiful expanse of green overlooking the mountains of Vermont.
We were stunned to see it there. Jeff immediately started worrying about how it would fit into the car - I don't think he realized that it could be taken apart. I think he was also overwhelmed by the reality of it. We were adopting a baby. I didn't like how it looked, however. It seemed very 1970's. A golden oak color and some ugly detailing. It was not my ideal crib - my fantasy crib, whatever that would be. Nevertheless, I was deeply aware of the emotional significance of the gift, and liked the idea of inheriting the bed in which Micah had slept. I was truly touched.
After much discussion, we dismantled the crib and put it in the car. Jeff's mom was characteristically zealous in her desire for us to take it as she had bought it originally and said it was "very well made".
The following day I had many second thoughts about the crib. I felt a mixture of anger and anxiety. I felt pressured by Jeff's mom to take it. Suddenly, It seemed we lost the ability to choose how our child's room would look. You can understand how significant this might be for me since I work as a Set Decorator on film. My life work is to create environments for other people. I wanted that opportunity for myself.
When I came home that evening I immediately started ranting and raving to Jeff all my feelings. Of course, in doing so, I neglected to check into how he was feeling. After we had both calmed down, I listened as Jeff confided how meaningful the gift had been. It was also important because his family was acknowledging the arrival of our child.
It is hard not to be pregnant. It is hard not to go through a visible preparation for a new baby. The crib was the first recognition we had received that we are preparing to be parents.
We have decided to keep it.
We were stunned to see it there. Jeff immediately started worrying about how it would fit into the car - I don't think he realized that it could be taken apart. I think he was also overwhelmed by the reality of it. We were adopting a baby. I didn't like how it looked, however. It seemed very 1970's. A golden oak color and some ugly detailing. It was not my ideal crib - my fantasy crib, whatever that would be. Nevertheless, I was deeply aware of the emotional significance of the gift, and liked the idea of inheriting the bed in which Micah had slept. I was truly touched.
After much discussion, we dismantled the crib and put it in the car. Jeff's mom was characteristically zealous in her desire for us to take it as she had bought it originally and said it was "very well made".
The following day I had many second thoughts about the crib. I felt a mixture of anger and anxiety. I felt pressured by Jeff's mom to take it. Suddenly, It seemed we lost the ability to choose how our child's room would look. You can understand how significant this might be for me since I work as a Set Decorator on film. My life work is to create environments for other people. I wanted that opportunity for myself.
When I came home that evening I immediately started ranting and raving to Jeff all my feelings. Of course, in doing so, I neglected to check into how he was feeling. After we had both calmed down, I listened as Jeff confided how meaningful the gift had been. It was also important because his family was acknowledging the arrival of our child.
It is hard not to be pregnant. It is hard not to go through a visible preparation for a new baby. The crib was the first recognition we had received that we are preparing to be parents.
We have decided to keep it.
posted by mamainwaiting at 1:09 PM
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